November is a bitter-sweet month for me. I am, at once, full of the spirit of advocacy and full of the knowing self-awareness that I have lived exactly six years with this disease. I look over my own body, as if taking inventory of its various parts. For a woman with a lot of freckles, this can sometimes border on hypochondria and paranoia. Ultimately, I suppose… I am scared of what may come, but I am also thankful that I am still healthy to enjoy friends and family, festivities and the occasional piece of leftover Halloween candy.
November is also like one of those Halloween ghost stories, for me – the ones where people claim an apparition repeats the same ‘ritual’ over and over again. The one where she again, clamors for awareness of her condition, and then remembers how her happy moment came tumbling down by that other moment that changed her fate – that moment of diagnosis.