Facing the Trigger in the Eye -- Binge Eating Disorder Problems

Life has a funny sense of humor, sometimes... A funny way of testing our wits.

I have a lot of jobs. One of my jobs is for a local church, as their Administrative Assistant. This is a job in which I am transitioning, and their old Administrative Assistant trained me last week, and suggested if I had any questions at all, I could call her. She gives me her business card, and I take it. Later, I'm looking at it, and I find it a bit unusual, as she's labeled herself as a 'Certified Hypnotist and EFT Practitioner,' whatever EFT is. 'Call Your Power Back' it says, under the main header. Under her picture, she claims 'Empowerment and Nutritional Cleansing.' -- Now, this is where I give you guys the disclaimer that I am a skeptic, and I am not fond of new age methods and things. I really like science a lot. I don't believe in cleanses and other kinds of 'fasts' people do to get 'clean' or whatever -- because science doesn't back them up (they can also be dangerous).

I flip the card over -- and what do you know... before and after pictures of people at the worst of their weight gain, and then ripped to no end with muscle, and 'in shape.' I feel the sudden judgmental thoughts going through me -- the sudden comparisons of 'I'm not as good as these people.' Then I'm reminded this person just wants to make a compelling case to get my dollars. I'm reminded that she has confessed to me that she has a lot of health issues herself, and from her appearance is not in what one could term as 'ripped' or in as 'excellent' shape as the people on the back of her business card, and that she's just another human being. I tell myself I have a binging problem, not a weight problem. That I need love, and not a carrot on a stick. I don't need to be Mrs. Olympia 2015.

I will write her numbers down -- and just throw the card away.

Top Ten Tips For Managing the Holidays with Diabetes

Happy Holidays, to you and yours! As my turkey slowly cooks in the oven, I've decided to take a moment to write a little bit. I've had a few comments from fellow sweet peeps, lately, in regards to traversing the holiday food extravaganza that is approaching, and there's much understandable fear and trepidation. 

So, I wanted to take a moment to reassure my fellow readers, especially newcomers, that, yes...

You Can Do This: 

1. DO count your carbohydrates. Think about your favorite foods for the holiday, and plot out your total carbohydrates through the day. For example, have some turkey and greens, if you prefer to have a small piece of pie later. Or... Have some turkey, some greens, and a small amount of mashed potatoes, if you're not much into pies. But... 
2. DON'T practice deprivation. Instead, practice moderation. Try eating just a tiny amount, of some of your favorites, instead of telling yourself you can't have anything. Besides, do you see the skinny people NOT eating anything? What do they do on a holiday like this? Some definitely pig out, and some others simply grab a few things, and taste here and there. But... 
3. DON'T feel like you have to eat everything there, out of obligation. Instead, you may find  it helpful to plan ahead of time which two food favorites you HAVE to have, and when the day comes, pick one extra item you'd like to try. If you have more things you'd like to try, you can always get a doggy bag, and eat them later.  
4. DO have some salad, leafy greens, and non-starchy veggies. Veggies are full of fiber, and because of this, they don't just help us with sensations of fullness and satiety, but also help keep our blood glucose levels steady throughout digestion. In other words, fill up on the broccoli on the snack plate, as it passes by... it'll help you absorb carbs, and digest and deal with any extra fat. Raw is better. But...
5. DON'T assume all veggies will be good. There are quite a few veggies out there that are high in their own natural sugars and starches. To help you navigate through the confusion, the American Diabetes Association has put together a list of non-starchy veggies, for your review. Assume that any veggie dishes which are slathered in various sauces have extra added sugar before consuming them. When in doubt, ask the host. 
6. DO make your own diabetes friendly dishes. Whether at home, or if going to a party, feel free to make one or two dishes which you know will be diabetic friendly -- whether that is a dish that is low carbohydrate, or a dish that is made with alternative sweeteners. Perhaps even have a favorite beverage with you, so that you can have something to 'nurse' through the day. This can be bringing your own diet tea, diet sodas, etc. But... 
7. DON'T forget to have water. Water is essential for your body. It helps control our eating signals of hunger, satiety and fullness. In many ways, water helps us appreciate the food we consume, and taste it better. When we taste food better, we can better focus on it, and we can better tell when we've had enough. 
8. DO try to practice eating with awareness. We go through life in such a hurry all the time, that we often eat incredibly quickly! Before we know it, the food is gone. Instead, really take some time to revel in the food you're about to consume. Notice its aroma, its colors, its textures, and flavors. Take each bite with slow, and deliberate delight. If you feel you need to put your fork down between bites, or have a sip of water, please do. Try to listen to when you're body has told you it's had enough, or even, if it is simply just satisfied. But... 
9. DON'T feel guilty if you overeat. It's a very food centered holiday. There is soooo much food, and people do tend to overeat, or indulge a little extra. It comes once a year, and we only live once. Focus instead on friends, family, loved ones, and being thankful. 
10. DO make it a family tradition to go for a walk around the block when you're done. A walk after eating a meal helps digestion, can bring time for conversation, and the focus AWAY from the table. If it's too cold outside, maybe it's time to break out the Wii Sports. 

Just remember, diabetes is NOT a life sentence because you 'messed up' being healthy, and active. It's simply a condition a few of us developed because we have the genes for it. Regardless of our past life choices, we can still live daily, healthful lives, and enjoy holidays and celebrations in moderation. So, kick back, and relax!   

The 'Betes Preachers...

Art by: Ankhammentu
Pinups Girls and Vectors 

There are two things that often make me feel uncomfortable; no, three: discussing religion, the current state of politics... and discussing my diabetes regimen with another diabetic.

"Wow, you have to get out of this business if that makes you uncomfortable, Liz!"

You'd think.  :-) I still do all three.

Some of you might get where I'm going with this, before I even get there. You meet some diabetic folks, you share the management lessons (individual lessons) life with diabetes has taught you, and then you're told you're wrong; very wrong. You might even get accosted for it.

It's not surprising, really. More personal than spirituality, than who we vote for... I can't think of anything more personal than what we eat.

What we eat and when, is a language, and it speaks for us and who and what we are, as people; for what we believe, subconsciously. Besides hunger, it might say things like...

• We're sick;
• We're bored;
• We're emotional;
• We're religious;
• We respect nature;
• We're against corporate greed;
• We believe in self-sustenance;
• We believe we don't care;
• We use food as filler;
• We use food as comfort;
• We use food as excitement; 
• We use food as DOGMA; 
• etc, etc, etc. 

I've truncated it considerably here, but the list for what our eating says can be quite lengthy...  and often perplexing.

For these very same reasons, there really isn't any other "belief" system in which so many folks try to "preach" to us, sell to us, get us to follow their way, their methods, their paths; get us to join their particular "culinary denomination," more strongly.  

... And, often, BEFORE illness even enters the mix! 

It doesn't help that for every need or illness, there's an opportunist out there hawking a book, a cure, a reversal, a miracle, and of course... a conspiracy theory, and a diet. A diet you must strictly follow to the letter. They all claim to be the experts on "weight loss," or the "it" revolutionary diets. They ALL claim they can work for any illness, regardless of your circumstances, and let me tell you, not a single one of these people... has ever said anything less than that they were 'renowned' experts. They all claim to be renowned doctors, dietitians, food scientists, etc. (Experts in everything, and nothing.) 

Folks with diabetes are just like everyone else, and can be vulnerable to the pulls of these jokers, and of fad dieting choices, from every which way. We are, after all, eager little sponges, wanting to soak up all that 'learning' out there in the big ol' 'interwebs'... and we want be on the cutting edge of managing our disease. We also want to be IN CONTROL, at all costs, and often under fed delusions that needing ANY medication at all is a bad thing.

Now, don't get me wrong... We must strive to be the healthiest we can and I am not against any particular way of eating, so long as it's something we can maintain long term, and it works for US and our daily diabetes management, as well as our personal beliefs. 

It's just that there's a lot of intransigence being taught out there, as well; a lot of 'evangelizing' and a lot of intransigence. People use these food platforms to tell others that there are NO other ways to health, but through their own plans; that they will lose control and binge uncontrollably, or never attain tight control, and go to diabetic complication hell if they don't follow as they do, or that they are lacking in scruples if they decide differently. And it gets so annoying! 

To me... THIS is what getting "diabetes religion" means: that you are so self focused on what works for YOU, that you forget that your own mileage varies, as well as everyone else's, and that we all have the RIGHT to find our own path in our management, without someone else making us feel that we are the devil in a blue dress for daring to do so. 

I'm a moderate low carber, myself. I'll still eat some ice cream, some tiny amounts of pasta mixed in with a lot of veggies, or tiny amounts of rice; I'll even occasionally, go jogging for the pleasure of having a cupcake... or I'll eat a cheeseburger on a lower carb bun. I EAT BACON. I, personally, do not view foods as "good" or "bad." And honestly, I *believe* it's wrong to do so. I believe life is about moderation. I hate to admit that, because I can get attacked at any point by no carbers, low carbers, no-restrictions on carbs people, vegans, raw foodists, and I have! 

But quite frankly, since what I put in my mouth is between me, my God or lack of a God, my glucose meter, and my doctor, it's no one's damn business! (It's insane for anyone to think that it is!) 

Keeping it between you, and your glucose meter and your doctor, is what we truly ought to be evangelizing. Finding that balance that is right FOR YOU, so that you can keep a good pace during the long-life marathon that is diabetes. 

(... And yes, I do not take any medications. I've lost nearly 80 lbs, and yes... my A1C is 5.5%, and yes... I have a beautiful cholesterol panel. Thank you, very much. I've worked HARD for that... even if I got to have a burger or some ice cream, along the way, while achieving it.) 

Your diabetes mileage can and WILL vary. Help where you are asked for help, support those who need it, and NEVER lecture another for being different than you, or having different needs than you. After all, you wouldn't want them deciding what you should eat. Remember the code of Diabetes Etiquette for Diabetics.

  

Not Quite a Wordless Wednesday: food IS love

I don't really care for Valentine's Day.

You know how it goes. The heavy pressure on that romantic aspect of our lives, that may or may not, live up to "Sense and Sensibility" expectations. The courting, the chocolates, the flowers, the glittery stuff. The "proposals" and declarations. Bah. Humbug. It was enough to make some of my dearest friends... 'joyfully' declare their mood of choice for the holiday, by getting creative on Facebook...

(I have to admit, since I also dislike romance novels,
I thoroughly enjoyed this little creation.)

So... though I do the usual, quiet penance at home with the husband, I can't say I focus very much on Valentine's Day. I certainly don't think of walking away with any sort of "wordless Wednesday lessons," if you would. What's to learn? Materialism? Impossible-to-live-to expectations? Yeah, so one would think. (I don't even have any kids, so I can't make this post about them! lol)

Often, though, life quietly speaks to us in it's own way... especially when our hearts are open, and not just open to diamonds, or chocolates, and other distractions and materialisms, but open to what's TRULY being expressed... by fate? God? The universe? Your own inner self? Perhaps. But, maybe... Just maybe... Valentine's Day needs to be a bit more "selfish" than it already is, you see. Valentine's Day should be about the one love that actually matters more than almost any love out there: self love. Yes, not the kind of self love that goes around expecting what can I get from others... but the kind of self love that goes around expecting what can I get from MYSELF. 

The little image, above... the heart made of wholesome food. That was IT. That was all Valentine's Day had to give me, yesterday. And it gave me a LOT; more than I could have imagined. A random posting of sorts, shared by a stranger, with entirely different intentions.

Food is love.

For me, food has always been love (even though I sort of dislike food). Just, perhaps, not the right kind of love.

Like any other person struggling with binge eating, and disordered eating, I tend to, unwittingly, look for love in food. I tend to want to FEEL things from the food I eat -- comfort, enjoyment, 'numbing' of bad feelings, friendship, avoidance of issues, appeasing of bad memories, etc, etc. Often, I've tried, again and again, to replace the love that others would not give me, or the missing attention from parents... with food, or bury whatever awful life traumas, underneath it.

Often, this is termed "When Food is Love."

Recently, though, I've been quietly asking myself... what if I can just change that definition around? What if food can still be love, but, from a different angle?

The image above gave me the answer. It almost literally screamed it:

"You can do more than just THINK you're getting emotional support from food... you can actually LOVE YOURSELF with food. Good food. Quality food... HEALTHY FOOD. To show yourself love with proper nourishment is the purest form of self love... Be very selfish with it. Do not abuse it, and do not entrust it to just any food. Treasure it."

When we thoroughly manage our health and give ourselves quality foods that make us FEEL healthy, able bodied, and able minded, capable of taking on the world, of thinking, and making proper decisions... When we give ourselves foods that don't just fuel our bodies, but make our hearts sing because they are wholesome and tasty, and FULFILLING, and in more than just temporary emotions we might feel... But also in HEALTHY emotions we may anticipate because we've put effort into making such meals, and invested in ourselves, as we would in our children... We are literally, feeding ourselves love. We ARE our children. We ARE our loved ones.

It's not a diet, it's not a "healthy lifestyle..." It is SELF LOVE. It is simply... Loving Yourself.  

Work on loving yourself, today. You'll be glad you did.